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June 2012

Ripples

WHat I do is create ripples – ripples through people’s lives and relationships.  Although I may treat one person, the ripples from this therapy can travel very far.

For example, when I treat a child with severe anxiety, the child gets released from the burden that they have been carrying.  THe ripples then spread out from there.  The parents are also given freedom from the burden that seeing a child suffer can bring.  Friends are free as a grandparents and other close associates. 

 In fact the ripples fan out to people that encounter the client now and in the future.

How wonderful is that?

I worked with a client recently and she noted after the session how it was going to completely change her relationship with her children and her husband.  Another suggested her changing may have saved her marraige.

So, through hypnotherapy, NLP and coaching, what I do is create ripples in the lives of many people.  I dont know how far they spread, but if each ripple is a positive change, empowering, freeing and uplifting, then they should grow bigger with distance, not smaller.

I invite you to consider the ripples that you make in the world.  Are they all good ones?  Do they add to people’s experience?  Do they persist, and make a difference?

If you would like to make ripples in the lives of those around you, here are four simple tips:

  • Really be present for someone and listen.  Allow them to connect to you.
  • Provide from the best parts of you, and give generously
  • Be aware of your impact on them, and their impact on others
  • Smile. 

 If you find that you struggle to create such positive ripples and would like to find out how to create a better, richer life for you and those around you – then contact me for a clinical or Skype session now. 

Because you never know how far the ripples could go.

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The illusion of control

Often people get anxious because they feel that they might lose control.  In a way, everything they do is geared around maintaining ‘control’ of as much as they can.

Control issues are common in the clients I see in the clinic.  Clients that suffer severe anxiety use control strategies to build a ‘firewall’ between them and the ambiguity which causes them so much distress.

There is one problem with control – it is an illusion.  The more you seek, the less you have.

In the clinic, I find many clients have such a need for control, that it is totally ’out of control’.  Imagine that – a need for control that is so out of control that true control would be gained by letting go of the need for control.

It sounds a bit funny, does it not?  However, what does control really look like?  People that run severe anxiety try and protect themselves from their ‘worst fears’ by trying to ‘control’ their environment to such an extent that whatever it is that they are scared of couldn’t possibly get near enough to affect them.

One problem with this approach is that as the world around someone with anxiety is controlled so tightly, that the ‘life’ is essentially sucked out of this space.  Having to have the world completely predictable and structured to the point that no ambiguity is allowed removes all of the opportunity for surprise, change and growth.  It is hard to imagine that this is a fulfilling and enjoyable existence.

What is true is that it can be hard to ‘relax’ these controls, and allow the ambiguities, surprises and changes of life to reach you.  When you have been living this way, it feels like the best that you can do just to ‘hold back’ the world with structures and control, to protect yourself.  Clients with this world view often get great benefit from some hypnotherapy and advanced NLP techniques which can make a real difference.  It can be hard to make the changes that you want to make (and feel that you need to make) by yourself sometimes.

But what can an individual really control?  Can you control the future?  Can you control what other people think about you?  Can you control how things will turn out?  The answer is no, you simply cannot.

This means that everything OUTSIDE of us is outside of our control.  However, by only gaining control of our ‘internal’ processes, we can massively reduce the need to worry about trying to control things outside of us.  By letting go of what we cannot control, and instead increase our control what we can (our thoughts, our feelings and our own actions), we can shift from the ‘illusion of control’ to personal responsibility and power. 

Without the illusion of control, we gain true control.  What you choose to focus on you give power to.  I encourage you to acknowledge any thoughts or feelings of anxiety, but to not focus, dwell on or empower them.  Instead, seek out the optimistic, positive and helpful thoughts and feelings and focus your attention on these.  The law of perception states that what you focus on you amplify in your perceptions.

What can you stop trying to control outside of you?

What thoughts, feelings or actions do you let ‘control’ you?

What I know is that my clients are doing the best that they can with where they are at in their lives.  When they have ‘had enough’ and want to find a new way, that is where I can help.

If you could imagine the possibilities of letting go of the illusion of control, perhaps now is the time to book a session for hypnotherapy and advanced NLP.

Live Well,

Phil

 

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Win the weight loss battle

Staying mentally strong to win the weight loss ‘battle’ can sometimes seem hard to do.  People can struggle for years, and feel that it is a battle they can never really win.  In fact, it doesnt matter how long you have struggled, I have found that every client has the resources to win the battle with the right help – here is how.

Based upon the work I do to help individuals in my hypnotherapy clinic to successfully lose weight, here are a seven simple tips and tricks that can give you the ‘strength’ to win your battle.

Set a positive goal:  Too often people want to ‘lose weight’, ‘stop being fat’, or ‘feel better about myself’.  The first step in winning the mental battle is to have a positively framed goal like “I want to be fit and healthy”, “ I want to look great in my size 12 jeans” or “I want to be a great role model for the kids”.  This gives you something to strive towards, rather than to try and escape.  What you lose – you can find again.

Understand your motivation:  Why is winning the battle important to you?  If you are doing it for somebody else, then expect to fail when the going gets tough.  When the goal is for you and the reason is compelling, then you will have the strength to win the battle.

Have clear skills and strategies:  Having a clear ‘plan’ of how you will win the battle will help you stay on course.  Vague ideas like “I will eat better” are less helpful than a meal and exercise plan that is specific.  The mosre specific you can be, the more it takes out the ambiguity and the ability to ‘negotiate out’ of your plan.

Understand the obstacles:  Life always throws up challenges.  If you want to win the battle, think about what obstacles might occur, and what you would do to overcome them.  Such things as cakes at the office, being invited out to dinner, getting take away with the family or even exercising when its raining are all things that can get in the way of your goal.  Work out what your personal ‘obstacles’ could be and work out what you will do – and you will sail right past them!

Line up your supporters:  Who will be your cheer squad?  Who will you be accountable to?  Often you can feel so alone, and yet knowing your cheer squad and who you have to report to can help keep you mentally strong.

Understand that success is a journey:  If you know that success comes from a journey and not from perfection, then you can be mentally strong to ‘pick up’ from any little slips and get right back on track.

Celebrate!  Set a timeframe when you will celebrate.  Mark the calendar and reward your effort with something that gives you pleasure – and doesn’t work against your goal.  Having mini-milestone celebrations (like a nice massage, for example) can help you stay strong on the path to your goal.

Many clients I see in my Balwyn practice or over Skype have the desire to lose weight.  They even know what to do.  Often it is small changes in the way they think, the way they prioritise, what they value and what they understand that releases them to be successful at becoming the newer, better version of themselves. 

I would use these ‘tips’ in and out of hypnosis for maximal benefit – and the results that are being achieved are proof enough of their power.

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