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Tag Archives: freedom

Can you spot the difference?

There are differences in many things Between comfort and discomfort Between pain and suffering Between choices and choosing Between now and then Differences that draw our attention here or there Another difference Focusing on one whilst overlooking the other. Experiencing both in every moment But imagining that one does not exist. What if you could allow yourself to simply recognise That experiencing both is always happening What you choose to …Read More

A fisherman’s tale

There was once a fisherman in a small Mexican coastal town.  A simple man, he would live his life by getting up late, going fishing at about 10, selling his small catch in the market.  He would catch up with his mates to play cards in the cantina in the afternoon, go home for dinner then take his wife out dancing. One day a banker from New York was passing …Read More

Are you ‘mind-full’ or mindful? It matters….

Do you want to be more effective, efficient – and at the same time enjoy everything more? Are you being overwhelmed, diverted and unable to achieve what you want?  Many people suffering anxiety, trauma, fears and phobias could benefit from becoming more mindful, as a part of finding a natural solution to their present circumstance. Too often client’s experience of life is derailed by over-load, multi-tasking and lack of focus on …Read More

Trigger Warning

As we go through life, we encounter experiences which can remind us of times gone by.  The smell of fresh bread for most people brings back very positive memories.  The sound of rain on a roof when you are tucked up warm in bed can be calming and peaceful.  However, there are also experiences which can trigger unwanted and unpleasant memories. People who have suffered trauma or witnessed a terrible …Read More

The gift of self appreciation

The shift from being stuck in a problem to creating lasting solutions often means acknowledging, and then accepting, certain things about ourselves. As we begin such a process is  often  the first time that we give names or even identities to those darker parts of ourselves which have been driving our unwanted behaviours at an almost sub-conscious level.  We sometimes become aware of some uncomfortable truths. Awareness and even understanding …Read More

Ripples

WHat I do is create ripples – ripples through people’s lives and relationships.  Although I may treat one person, the ripples from this therapy can travel very far.

For example, when I treat a child with severe anxiety, the child gets released from the burden that they have been carrying.  THe ripples then spread out from there.  The parents are also given freedom from the burden that seeing a child suffer can bring.  Friends are free as a grandparents and other close associates. 

 In fact the ripples fan out to people that encounter the client now and in the future.

How wonderful is that?

I worked with a client recently and she noted after the session how it was going to completely change her relationship with her children and her husband.  Another suggested her changing may have saved her marraige.

So, through hypnotherapy, NLP and coaching, what I do is create ripples in the lives of many people.  I dont know how far they spread, but if each ripple is a positive change, empowering, freeing and uplifting, then they should grow bigger with distance, not smaller.

I invite you to consider the ripples that you make in the world.  Are they all good ones?  Do they add to people’s experience?  Do they persist, and make a difference?

If you would like to make ripples in the lives of those around you, here are four simple tips:

  • Really be present for someone and listen.  Allow them to connect to you.
  • Provide from the best parts of you, and give generously
  • Be aware of your impact on them, and their impact on others
  • Smile. 

 If you find that you struggle to create such positive ripples and would like to find out how to create a better, richer life for you and those around you – then contact me for a clinical or Skype session now. 

Because you never know how far the ripples could go.

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The illusion of control

Often people get anxious because they feel that they might lose control.  In a way, everything they do is geared around maintaining ‘control’ of as much as they can.

Control issues are common in the clients I see in the clinic.  Clients that suffer severe anxiety use control strategies to build a ‘firewall’ between them and the ambiguity which causes them so much distress.

There is one problem with control – it is an illusion.  The more you seek, the less you have.

In the clinic, I find many clients have such a need for control, that it is totally ’out of control’.  Imagine that – a need for control that is so out of control that true control would be gained by letting go of the need for control.

It sounds a bit funny, does it not?  However, what does control really look like?  People that run severe anxiety try and protect themselves from their ‘worst fears’ by trying to ‘control’ their environment to such an extent that whatever it is that they are scared of couldn’t possibly get near enough to affect them.

One problem with this approach is that as the world around someone with anxiety is controlled so tightly, that the ‘life’ is essentially sucked out of this space.  Having to have the world completely predictable and structured to the point that no ambiguity is allowed removes all of the opportunity for surprise, change and growth.  It is hard to imagine that this is a fulfilling and enjoyable existence.

What is true is that it can be hard to ‘relax’ these controls, and allow the ambiguities, surprises and changes of life to reach you.  When you have been living this way, it feels like the best that you can do just to ‘hold back’ the world with structures and control, to protect yourself.  Clients with this world view often get great benefit from some hypnotherapy and advanced NLP techniques which can make a real difference.  It can be hard to make the changes that you want to make (and feel that you need to make) by yourself sometimes.

But what can an individual really control?  Can you control the future?  Can you control what other people think about you?  Can you control how things will turn out?  The answer is no, you simply cannot.

This means that everything OUTSIDE of us is outside of our control.  However, by only gaining control of our ‘internal’ processes, we can massively reduce the need to worry about trying to control things outside of us.  By letting go of what we cannot control, and instead increase our control what we can (our thoughts, our feelings and our own actions), we can shift from the ‘illusion of control’ to personal responsibility and power. 

Without the illusion of control, we gain true control.  What you choose to focus on you give power to.  I encourage you to acknowledge any thoughts or feelings of anxiety, but to not focus, dwell on or empower them.  Instead, seek out the optimistic, positive and helpful thoughts and feelings and focus your attention on these.  The law of perception states that what you focus on you amplify in your perceptions.

What can you stop trying to control outside of you?

What thoughts, feelings or actions do you let ‘control’ you?

What I know is that my clients are doing the best that they can with where they are at in their lives.  When they have ‘had enough’ and want to find a new way, that is where I can help.

If you could imagine the possibilities of letting go of the illusion of control, perhaps now is the time to book a session for hypnotherapy and advanced NLP.

Live Well,

Phil

 

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