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Great Expectations – could be getting you into trouble!

Great Expectations Unhelpful expectations often enhance a client’s sense of their problems.  Quality expectations, on the other hand, can be really useful in setting and creating plans. Try this exercise: What should you realistically expect will happen in the following scenarios?  What happens next? 1.        Things have been tough all day.  You get a call from your boss. 2.       You find yourself in a difficult situation.  Someone unexpected drops in. …Read More

What is wrong with NLP?

What do you think about NLP?   In recent times I have been often asked about my opinion on NLP (Neuro-Linguistic-Programming) from clients, students and people interested in self development.  They want to know if it offers any value.  They want to know if it is safe, and what they can get out of it.  Is NLP for you?   I know that NLP has both its fans and its …Read More

The contagion of depression

Do you know someone with depression?  The likelihood is that you do – and if you are not one of the many people with depression, then you can be guaranteed that many of the people around you are suffering. If you consider the statistics, one in five people have clinical level depression at some point in their lives.  Looking at it a different way, for every 100 people you know …Read More

The schematics of your problem

Sometimes it feels as if our problems are ‘hard-wired’.  They take on definitions and lives of their own, existing within us as ‘entities’ with which we have to battle or live. When we somehow stumble across part of the problem, we activate the whole thing – inviting us to become totally absorbed in its actions and outputs and become enmeshed in our problem.      For example, I might ‘feel’ …Read More

Blurring the lines

How are ‘blurred lines’ impacting your life? Recently I have seen a lot of ‘blurred lines’ that have decreased motivation, interfered with achieving weight loss, stopped great performance and impacted people achieving their goals. What do I mean by ‘blurred lines’? “I had a bad day at work so I need a few glasses of wine”. “My boss was such a tyrant that I will reward myself with ice-cream and …Read More

Is your goal demotivating you?

Working with a group last night, I explored with them some of the interesting aspects of motivation and goal achievement – with some interesting results! How often is it that we set ourselves a goal – like ‘I want to lose 20 kgs’ – and only manage to lose 18?  How do you judge this? One of our participants had this very dilemma.  By being so focussed upon the ‘fixed’ …Read More

Hypnotic Empowerment

These days we hear a lot about ‘empowerment’ –but what does it really mean? I offered a workshop last night to a group of women at the local gym.  They are doing a 12-week challenge, and as part of their program, they have guest speakers come in and talk.  I had previously presented to the group on hypnosis and weight loss (really, it was about self-esteem, body image and breaking …Read More

Getting it all wrong and hurting clients

Today, a bit of a rant. I was contacted by someone in a fair bit of distress yesterday.  They were stuck and struggling.  Although I had a full program, I made some time (admin tasks got delayed until evening!) to see them and do some work.  After seeing them, it reminded me about the old adage “first, do no harm!”. This particular client had been going really well.  The brief …Read More

That may be the wrong question!

When we communicate we ask often ask questions. When used properly, questions help increase our understanding and give us greater knowledge of the particular topic.  They help us more precisely define a ‘problem’ and to break it into components that can then be solved. Often, however, we simply ask the ‘wrong’ questions. Sometimes questions are used when people wish to hide commands, judgements or injunctions.  That is, we couch a …Read More

Are you depressed about depression? – Don’t be!

Depression has such a major impact in modern society. At any one time, 20% of the workforce is suffering from ‘depression’.  They are less productive, absent more often, and are more likely to suffer other conditions at the same time. It goes beyond the workplace, with everyday people, in every day situations, feeling depressed.  The average age of first episode is dropping rapidly – it wont be long before Depression …Read More