What is the difference between success and failure? In my Melbourne Hypnotherapy clinic, it is really in the mind of the client.
When clients run a ‘black or white’ concept of success, there is no room in their thinking for shades of grey. They either achieve exactly their desired outcome…or they have failed. When people run a negative self-belief about their ability to succeed (“I’m not good enough, I’m a failure, I’m a fraud” are common ones), as well as a black or white concept of success, they often get highly anxious about attempting a goal, and then get depressed and a sense of hopelessness when they don’t achieve it. In a way, it reinforces their negative self-belief (see ‘the bottom line’ blog post).
I have clients that want to quit smoking. They tell me “Phil, I’ve failed. I have cut down from 60 to 2 cigarettes a day. I haven’t stopped”, or for gambling “I failed, I’m still gambling. Last week I lost $150.00. I suppose it’s better than the $5000.00 a week I normally blow”.
If they didn’t run a black or white concept of failure, how could these incredible, life-changing achievements be anything but a success? Deserving of celebration?
If success was a process – in which ANY advancement toward your final goal was a success, then there would be much to celebrate in life. If we allowed the negative self-view to be quiet for a while and really saw all of the successes that we have achieved, and are achieving, then there may be a lot less unnecessary anxiety and depression getting around.
What successes in your life are you not allowing yourself to see? What are you achieving TOWARDS your goal which is worthy of celebration? Even the largest journey is made up of the smallest steps.